Loyalty: Priceless

I've been thinking about loyalty. It's not prized today in the workplace, and cynics will sneer at how marital loyalty, especially in the spirit of a Hillary Clinton, is for the weak or codependent. OK, so when is loyalty a worthy character quality? When is loyalty clearly a noteworthy characteristic to be cultivated, and especially at the expense of one's own precious ego? I believe it comes most alive in friendship. Loyalty among friends has no particular financial security (like a job), no long-term institutionalized protection (like marriage). Being loyal to a friend stands on its own as the price of developing character.

I see loyalty among my friends who never seem to forget me, even when geography and time zones separate us from easy relationship or casual connecting. They find a way to find me and keep in touch. They remember our last conversation, even if it was several years ago. They just pick up wherever we left off without rancor or blame when time has been a distancing factor. But that's the easier side of loyalty, even though it's hard enough in itself.

Another kind of loyalty may be uniquely feminine : the loyalty to take my side, if even just long enough to let me vent or express a perceived grievance against another. This doesn't mean turning a loyal friend into a YES (wo)man. It means that before offering a differing opinion, or before explaining how wrong I am, first make me right!

Loyalty demands a momentary sacrifice of ego . The rightness of anything can always be delivered in due time. First let me know it's safe for me to be my jerky self around you; then let me know softly what a jerk I am. That kind of loyalty is worth the price of friendship. That's one kind of loyalty that survives today.