Quitting Isn't Failure

With all the talk about how America can't quit Iraq, since we have never "lost" a war (forgetful of the last quagmire in Viet Nam), we can reflect on when quitting is just quitting, when it's being realistic, or when it's simply moving on from beating a dead horse.

I had dinner last night with a lovely young woman who asked about my career. I relayed how I quit acting in New York some years ago, after unsuccessful attempts at getting paid work. She was sympathetic, wanting to encourage me almost, to not give up, to go back now and try again, as if she could inspire my younger self. Our time together was too short to describe the ensuing successful years, how that decision didn't hurt me but led to other wonderful doors opening.

But it's a useful exercise to take a hard look at whether or not our past quitting was true failure. Once you're over 40, you probably have some palpable failures in your bag of experience: a failed marriage, a promising career you walked away from, a college degree you made no use of, an investment you avoided out of fear that would have made a nest egg for early and luxurious retirement. There are thousands of these failures, but should they stick in the craw as such?

It takes courage to look directly at our own lives and reconcile the "holes", to embrace the undone perfection we idealized for ourselves. But this is the story of being human. Bring it to the surface, put it in perspective and move on. Last night I realized how that "failure" to achieve an acting career sounded to me--shallow and not worth mentioning. I thank my young friend.