Self-Care

For those of us who are lifelong people pleasers, there comes a time when burn-out occurs or the cup spilleth over into empty and broken heartship. People pleasing is not service (seva) to another deserving human; it is actually avoiding self-care or eschewing the pain of serving oneself.

Why on earth is serving oneself painful? As children we hear often that we are selfish. As adults we don't actually remember the events where this label occurred, but we internalize the word and decide in a general fashion that to gain respect and praise we won't be selfish.

What we avoid learning is that in the process of service we have not only the right but the OBLIGATION to make our choices of service to others from the viewpoint of win-win. In short, I can and will do this for you because it stretches me, and teaches me to open myself to another. It serves you because you have a legitimate need. I want to be of service because I can and therefore I will. No sacrifice necessary.

This is a huge and complex subject and I'm scratching the surface here. Look for more on this in my book.